So, here's the deal. In exactly 4 months and 2 days, I'll be graduating from college. And even though I'm really ecstatic and excited about it, I have to be honest, I'm kinda freaking out about it, too. I was just watching the finale of Gilmore Girls Season 7 (because I missed it when it was aired on tv...I missed a lot of season 7) and Rory graduated and she got a pretty awesome job, and I was like, "wow. Rory seems all grown up and ready to go" and then I thought "I'm basically the same age as Rory. Gosh, I'm not old enough to graduate!"
Then my best friend assured me I was old enough to graduate...but what I mean is...mentally. Physically I'm old enough to graduate - physically, I'm old enough to do a lot of things - but I feel like maybe I'm not ready to graduate just yet. I thought I was, but the thought of it scares me a little bit. I have nothing to look forward to after that (except a really busy summer full of drum corps (and working when I have the time). I won't even have time to take a vacation. I kind of thought after I graduate college, I would go on vacation somewhere...Disney World, Europe, someplace crazy and fun where I can both relax and explore and have a great time doing it. This summer I'm going to be stuck in the states, and then after that? Where do I go from there?
I guess I'll keep working at the theatre until I find another job, but I don't know what I want to do with my life. I majored in music and psychology - barely - it's more an interdisciplinary studies diploma than anything. I'm scared of the future. I haven't even thought about graduate school yet, or if I even want to go to graduate school. I'm not sure, I'm never sure. About anything. I wish I was one of those people who was set on doing something since they were 5. That would make my life so much easier, right?
I need to go do laundry, because I have absolutely nothing to wear on the first day of my last semester of college. Yay me....my life is an organized mess.
Then my best friend assured me I was old enough to graduate...but what I mean is...mentally. Physically I'm old enough to graduate - physically, I'm old enough to do a lot of things - but I feel like maybe I'm not ready to graduate just yet. I thought I was, but the thought of it scares me a little bit. I have nothing to look forward to after that (except a really busy summer full of drum corps (and working when I have the time). I won't even have time to take a vacation. I kind of thought after I graduate college, I would go on vacation somewhere...Disney World, Europe, someplace crazy and fun where I can both relax and explore and have a great time doing it. This summer I'm going to be stuck in the states, and then after that? Where do I go from there?
I guess I'll keep working at the theatre until I find another job, but I don't know what I want to do with my life. I majored in music and psychology - barely - it's more an interdisciplinary studies diploma than anything. I'm scared of the future. I haven't even thought about graduate school yet, or if I even want to go to graduate school. I'm not sure, I'm never sure. About anything. I wish I was one of those people who was set on doing something since they were 5. That would make my life so much easier, right?
I need to go do laundry, because I have absolutely nothing to wear on the first day of my last semester of college. Yay me....my life is an organized mess.
1 comment:
Oh I went through this as well. I still go through it every day. I'll probably be going through it my entire life. Just because I'm spontaneous like that. Why pick just one career, right? Why tie yourself down. That's what goes through my head. There's so many awesome things to do in life!
The only advice I can give is, just go where you think you'll be happy, do what you'll be happy doing at any specific time, and don't worry too much :-) I spent years worrying about this stuff and it just gets you nowhere. You'll be fine, and you'll be happy if you just take each day at a time!
And...
Graduate school is an excellent idea for someone as nerdtastic and intelligent as you :-)
I seem to have adopted the mantra "When in doubt of what to do, just keep taking classes and draw it out as long as possible"
And there's nothing wrong with uncertainty.
:-)
DFTBA,
Cait
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